STEP OFF, GRANDMA!

So let me tell you why I don't like old ladies anymore.

Mostly, they just ruin everything. At work yesterday, on register, TWICE I got stuck with two old women with "special" problems. Personally, I think they were just trying to scam us and steal. I won't go into what the problems really were because I just don't feel like it, but basically, I wanted to tell them off. On both occassions I had someone else really deal with the situations cause I'm not on register often enough to really know what to do in certain circumstances.

Anyway, they pretty much made me stressed out and held up the line BOTH times, so old ladies as customers that want to return stuff are annoying. And BULLSHIT on the "oh, i'm old so i got confused" crap. They know damn fucking well what they were doing. So I don't buy it for one second.

Now, onto my other reason for not liking them.

So he showed up today, at the bus stop. Unfortunately, he didn't have the book. He had some other book though, but I didn't recognize it and didn't get a chance to look at the cover. But when I saw he didn't have The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime...I panicked. Suddenly I didn't know what to say. My "scripted" dialogue was ruined. So I desperately rushed in my head to figure out something new to say. Finally I decided to just go up to him and somehow bring up the other book. He never stands near me so I have to actually walk up to him and he'll notice and that just makes me feel creepy. Like I'm stalking him. Anyway, right when I was about to get the balls to go speak to him............some old lady that apparently works with him showed up by his side and they started talking.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

After that I couldn't come up to him. It just messed it all up. And what happened to the other book??? He finished it in three days? How?? He was near the beginning!! And sure, I'll probably see him tomorrow but bringing up a book I saw him reading a week ago is just.......loser-ish. He'll be like: Why the fuck has this guy been watching me all this time??

CURSES!!!

So now I need another plan of attack. Shit fuck.

Oh, and I did have class tonight, but....I will write about that tomorrow. Cause it just doesn't go with this entry's topic. Anyway, bye bye.

Oh, and Jen absolutely ADORES that I've written about her. Kisses!!

DUN DUN DUN!!

EEEEP!!!! My writing class starts TOMORROW night. I'm so terribly excited and happy that I'm NERVOUS! It's absolute crazy town. I'll be so happy to see everyone again. And hopefully there will be some new people that actually stay in the class this time. It was ridiculous how some stopped coming after the first or second class. Don't they realize they just wasted 80 bucks??

Well, today I work. On register. Sigh. I'm not that big a fan of it. But thankfully it's only for five hours. However, I get out at 8:30.....meaning I'll be home by.....10. That gives me about an hour and a half to relax before I have to sleep again. Tomorrow I start at 9 am, so gotta get up at 6:30.

Gasp!! Bus stop guy! Shit, I totally forgot about that. He might be there tomorrow. Aw, crap, now I'm even MORE nervous. Dammit.

Okay, gotta go get ready for work...

Jen Jen The Lesbian.

Let's talk about Jennifer Lynn Egan, Esquire. Some call her my wife. Others call her a whore. Me, I just call her. She's usually good for a laugh or two, usually at her expense. She's really slutty, too. This is the girl that was let down by the Kama Sutra because she'd done all the positions in it and then some. That definitely says a lot about her.

But really, though, she's a lot of fun. We've been friends for....five years now I think and it's been so great. We're very random and do crazy things when we're together. It sucks that we don't get to see each other every day like we used to. Life just hasn't been the same since we left good old Philly. Le sigh.

Though sometimes there is talk, plans are made....to go back to Philly. To live together once more. And if we do......well, watch out.

There really is no point to this entry. I just got bored and needed something to do for a bit. That is all.

Ooooh, I'm Too Nervous!

This is really supposed to be a Monday post, but after that endless entry last night I just didn't feel like it.

So for the past two weeks or so there has been this guy at the bus stop on Main and Washington Place. That's where I get the 709 bus to the Garden State Plaza, where I work. And, wow, this guy, at least in my opinion, is totally gorgeous. My reaction to him is similar to my reaction to Anderson Cooper, so you know that means something.

The guy dresses well and is very nice looking. But you can tell by his body language, the way he carries himself, and the way he styles his hair that he has a bit of the ghetto in him. By that I mean that he probably talks with the somewhat ghetto slang, probably likes rap and shit like that. But still, very nice to look at. He has this intense gaze and it's just so awesome. I don't know about most, but eyes and eye contact are big things for me.

Anyway, so Monday morning he arrived at the bus stop as usual, except this time he had a Barnes and Noble bag with him. I didn't consider it much, except thinking to myself that it was probably just to carry his lunch or some shit. But then, much to my surprise, he actually pulled out a book and started to read. I mean, a guy like him actually reading at a bus stop?? The only guy I've ever seen reading at a bus stop is ME! Usually it's people of the female persuasion that I see reading. So yeah, I got all excited to see a guy I think is really cute reading. Most people my age just don't read anymore, and that's sad.

And then....THEN......I noticed what book he was actually reading. I'm such a loser. I literally gasped and my heart got all fast. This guy was reading one of my favorite books!! It was awesome. I SOOOOOOO wanted to say something. I was going to as well, but I was too nervous. I didn't know exactly what to say. So we got on the bus a short time after that and I just kept glancing over at him.

Fuck, I should have said something. I felt so disappointed in myself. And I won't get to see him till Thursay. That's the next day I have to go in at 9. And he might not have the book with him anymore. And I still don't know what I would say. I'm sure he's not gay either....so what would be the point? But then if I don't say something I'll hate myself forever. Sigh.

What to do?

But The......Who The....Why Did........I Need a Pizza.

This is a long one, so put on your reading glasses.

We'll focus on Saturday, being the most interesting and complex day I've had in a while. Work started at 9 am on Saturday, so I was up by 6:15 to catch the bus on time and all that jazz. I was wearing my nice new merlot colored shirt, my dark vintage boot fit jeans, and my kickass black heeled shoes. I love them so. So I was feeling pretty good about myself just from my outfit.

Work was all right. I was in women's denim as I usually am on Saturdays. There was a new guy working and he got stuck as my buddy. And Sassy was working in women's as well with me. She can be fun, but MAN is she ever agressive. She's more butch than I am. It was fun either way. And I guess the first weird part of the day was when these...teeny bopper girls, like no older than 12 or something come up to me, one holding two pairs of jeans in her arms. She walks right up to me and holds them out. I'm like: You don't want these? She shakes her head and her friend giggles. So I take them and put them on my cart and they walk away, giggling and looking back. Sassy sidles up next to me and says: I think they thought you were cute.

EWW. I felt so weird. I didn't know what to do with that. It's just so....strange for me to have a female, no matter the age, hit on me or find me attractive. Tis just weird. So of course I have to go and tell Michelle and I do. She laughed at me. So did the girl in the fitting rooms. Then at some random point Sassy told me that I have perfect hair and I looked so groomed. Apparently even my unshaved face looked trimmed, which it wasn't. Sometimes I just don't shave for days and that's how it grows in.

It was kinda cool though, the nice comments. I was already feeling good about myself and this just boosted my confidence more. Lately my self-consciousness about my appearance has been dwindling though. I've learned to accept my image more and more. It's good. It's progress.

The rest of my work day went very well. It was one of those days where I felt accomplished. Most customers were very friendly on Saturday, and were very grateful for my help. Even when I was in men's denim, some guys, not much older than me, were very nice and talkative and thanked me. That's not very usual, so it felt great. I'm getting much better with the talking to random strangers and being myself with them. I don't put up a sales front and try to get them to buy things. I'm just honest with them. I give them my real opinion of what I believe will work. I feel it's more effective and they trust me more for it. So it's great. I think this is the first REAL positive experience I've had with retail. My last stint at the Gap didn't go so well. Neither did my time at Swatch. But now....it's going very well. And I actually like it there. The people are awesome and the employees, even managers, are fun and friendly. So I'm definitely liking it there.

I left work right after six. I had to go to Passaic and meet up with Karina cause she wanted to hang out. So did Jessica. So after meeting up and all that shit, we just hung out at my house for a bit. Karina was all stressed out, having panic attacks and dealing with family bullshit. So we just talked and tried to console her. Then the mood for dinner came up and we went to Applebee's. We ate outside on the patio which was cool, in the night breeze and under the full moon. Then it started to get ghetto, with all the crap people around. And seeing non-stop guidos started to annoy me. So after this whole mess with cops having to come over to talk to some people who left the restaurant and the 40 minute wait to get the check and pay for it, we left. And somehow ended up in a bar here in Nutley. It was all right I guess, but I don't know. Suddenly I just didn't like it. I just didn't feel in the mood to be around drunks in bars. So I hurried us up and we were off again.....and somehow, we ended up in Hoboken. Mind you this was near 1:30 am so I was really tired.

And really, bars in NJ close at 2 am. So what was the point? But you know lesbians, they can't let things go easily. So we drove all the way to Hoboken JUST to go to some bar called Bahama Mamma. Sigh. I just had a bad feeling about it. I didn't want to go in, especially after hearing we had to pay five bucks to get in. So that was stupid. But Karina offered to pay,so fine. We started to go in and the bouncer asked for ID's. She shows him her license and he doesn't believe it's real. I don't know why. So he asks for a second ID. Instead of saying I don't have one, she says: Why?

Le sigh. So that just blows up and they get into it and she's shouting and he's yelling and UGH. Me andJessica just sidled away. It was just so fucking embarassing. And she already had four drinks in her so she wouldn't let it go. She even made them bring out the manager and yelled at her too and it was just so stupid. So after like ten minutes we finally managed to get her to leave the bar area. But she didn't want to go home. NO. She wanted to keep trying at other bars, but it was AFTER 2 am. They didn't let us in any, DUH. Sigh.

So after random walking around we FINALLY left Hoboken and went home. I didn't get into bed until 3am. I was dead tired.

But yeah, very weird day. And long. And that's the end of my story. I don't think I wrote it as well as I had planned, but I'm tired. And....yeah. Shut it off!!

You Got Some 'Splainin' To Do!

Okay, I had to post this after what just happened.

I use ICQ. For those that don't know, it's a chat program and you can randomly message people by pressing this button that will pop up a profile and you can either message it or press again and get something new. I get a lot of people messaging me. Many of them are SOOO weird though.

Like today. Just about ten minutes ago I get a random message. I check the profile and it's some straight guy. I sigh, knowing that he's either curious and wants to talk dirty or is gonna try to "insult" me. It turned out to be the latter.

He greets me by calling me a sissy gay faggot or something like that that is going to hell. What a surprise. I mostly ignore it and pretend to only be insulted by the word sissy. He then starts saying some shit and how being gay is weird and wrong.

Well, this kinda made me wonder. Cause you see, in his profile, this guy states that he likes incest stories and acts of incest. And here he is telling me I'M the wrong one that is sinning! How the fuck does that make any sense?

I personally think that's worse than being gay. And kinda gross.

It Begins.

Okay, so Michelle has made me start this blog. I really have no idea what this thing is gonna be about really. I do have many thoughts, some of them interesting even, but to sit down and actually WRITE some interesting thoughts..........well, that produces a blank. Silence. Possibly the only time my mind will actually shut up.
We'll see how this thing goes. If I keep it up or not. And really, it just brings up a lot of questions. I don't mind making this public and allowing people to read it. But then it makes me think, how honest should I be? Especially when it comes to me talking about others. Not that I'm one to spread rumors or start shit. But I will mention people I know and events that transpire between us or even my thoughts about a person. Why I like them, things they said I found funny, stuff like that. So do I actually state their true name? And even if I don't, I'm sure that someone that knows the person being spoken of will figure it out. Especially if it's work people.
It's too much to think about right now. I'm too tired. I didn't get much sleep last night and my brain is being all...weird. And I have to go to bed early cause I have to be up for work. Sigh. I just wish I didn't have to get up so damn early to be there on time. But alas, I must do what I must do.
So yeah, I'm done for tonight. Maybe I might actually continue to write in this. If not, oh well.